A Guide To Winning Thanksgiving (Spatchcock Turkey)

So I'll start this off with a pre-cursor, I'm not a seasoned pro when it comes to making turkey. A seasoning pro, maybe, but I don't have half as much experience as many older people who might have their tips and tricks for how to prepare a turkey. What I do bring to the table though, is a recipe that I made myself after a lot of research and experimenting that resulted in the best turkey I've ever eaten. If followed, your turkey will come out moist (even at the  breast) and full of flavor. It will be absolutely delicious. Now here's the downside, it isn't as cheap to make as some other recipes for turkey. Or as easy, but the results are more than worth it in my opinion. So let's get down to business.

Here's what you'll need

Brine

• 1 Cup sour mash whiskey (I advise something sweet. I personally think that Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey is the best)
• 2 cups dark brown sugar (do not use the light brown sugar, it doesn't mix or caramelize the same)
• 1 cup real maple syrup
• 1 cup soy sauce
• 3/4 cup kosher salt
• 6 bay leaves
• 2 tsp whole black peppercorns
• 8 cloves (not heads) peeled garlic
• 16 cups water

Seasoning

• Salt
• Pepper
• Garlic
• Oregano (dried)

A big ol' turkey

Wood: 50/50 mixture of Cherry and Mesquite 

Step one: get a backbone

This is a recipe for spatchcocking (spatch cock ing) a turkey. When you spatchcock a bird, you remove the spine and break the ribs in the center to have the bird lay flat then you twist the wings up. It will cook a lot more evenly like this than it will if you cook it whole. Here's some photos and a link to a great video. (this video should only be watched until it gets to being done breaking the chest flat) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxDaaYHyQJw 

We'll stop here now and move on to step 2. 

Step Two

So for step two add all the ingredients for the brine but half the water into a large pot and bring it to a boil. Stir it constantly so the brown sugar dissolves completely. Once it's at a boil, take it off the burner. Add the other 8 cups of water cold and let cool. Once it's cooled. I put the turkey in a food grade plastic bucket and pour the brine over it to soak, covered and refrigerated, overnight. 

Step Three: Seasoning done right

So for this step we cut the skin along the joint of the legs, fold it back over the ends of the legs and up over the breast like a t-shirt pulled halfway over its head. Doing this allows us to season under the skin and on top of it. This is important because turkey skin, while delicious, is also relatively thick and that seasoning's flavor won't penetrate a lick if it's just on the outside of the skin. 

Note my hand is under the skin pushing it up, this stretches it out so I can pull it up over the neck

Season liberally

Now that it's all seasoned, or before you start peeling the skin, arrange it like this, you bend the wings backwards over themselves and the legs sideways like shown in the last photo there, this is the best position for even cooking and it makes you look like you know what you're doing. 

Step Four: Cook it. 

Use the mix of 50/50 cherry/mesquite pellets and throw it on the grill on a pan wrapped in foil at 300° (Note only the pan is foil wrapped, not the bird). Let it cook till it's 165° in the breast with an instant read thermometer. If you've got one of the dumb pop up plastic ones... pull it out and throw it away.

Pull it off and slice it up. If you don't know how to carve a turkey, google it. It's pretty easy. Let me know how you like it! Happy Turkey Holocaust! 

#HardWoodsOnly

Pork Burnt End... Also Known As Meat Candy

So some of you may have heard of "Burnt Ends" either in person, at a restaurant, or somewhere on the internet. I'd read about them quite a few times, but had never had nor seen them anywhere around where I live. My guess is that it's a down south thing because I live on the west coast where the best bbq is what comes off my own grill and the restaurants are basically a waste of money (in my experience, I haven't tried them all, so I'm sure there's some exception somewhere).

Doing some research, I found that you can make burnt ends out of pork. They aren't really burnt ends, but it achieves a similar goal and tastes incredible. So let's get down to making some cubed meat candy.

What you'll need

• Pork Butt
• Apple Pellets (or Oak or Cherry)
• Worcestershire Sauce
• BBQ Sauce (OMG is best)
• foil pan

Seasonings

• 2tbsp pepper
• 1tbsp chilli pepper
• 1tbsp paprika
• 2tbsp Cumin
• 1tbsp curry powder
• 1/4 cup kosher salt

How it's done

So let's get started. First things first, you may notice the rub is basically my pulled pork rub, but with half the salt. Same cut of meat, same rub, very different flavor. 

The first step is to mix the rub ingredients. 

Step two; get the meat on a pan, douse it in Worcestershire sauce, then rub all of the sides with the rub. For this step, use a jar with a lid for sprinkling stuff because we wanna use the extra rub later in the recipe. 

Next, wrap her in foil and let it sit in the fridge overnight to marinade those seasonings in a bit. 

Okay, times up, turn the grill to 180° and throw her on fat side down

Now, wait till it gets to 170° internal temp with a instant read meat thermometer and take it off... but don't turn off the grill, we aren't done yet. 

Once you get it on the counter, get your slicer out and cube it up. 

Cubed? Alright, next you're gonna add the rest of that rub to the cubes inside of a foil pan. Mix them up really really well, then add about a cup of bbq sauce and mix it in really well too. 

Okay, now there's a few things you can do, I put the grill at 300° and covered it with foil (poke holes in the bottom of the pan on the grill to let liquid drain out otherwise you won't get the nice bark you want. After it's cooked a couple hours, turn it up to about 400, take off the foil top and mix it up every 10 minutes, done when it's reached the desired crunch or crust on the pieces, just take one out and eat it to check. 

And that's it. Serve it up with whatever you like. These taste incredible, and they're pretty simple to make. People will be asking what it is and how you made it, pretty much guaranteed. If you've got a different seasoning mix or sauce you prefer, go ahead and use that. It's a hard dish to mess up. 

#hardwoodsonly

Brisket... The Crowning Jewel Of A Pitmaster's Cookbook

A lot of people want to know how great brisket is made, because that crap your friend put in a crock pot for twelve hours that you courteously forced down your throat can't be what barbecue fanatics rave about. 

A little introduction to this. I LOVE brisket. It's among my favorite things out there. It's amazing, and one of the things you simply can't do any way apart from with wood smoke on a barbecue. It's delicious if made right, and downright inedible if made wrong. This is one of the recipes that my lovely aunt taught me... because she rocks. It's also the most requested thing that I make for parties. So let's get started making mouths water two blocks down from smell alone.

What you'll need

• Brisket, obviously. I buy 15-18lb ones at a store called Cash and Carry, it's a restaurant supply store I believe, that's the cheapest place to get it. I am not super picky about being natural or grass fed or any of that because I don't pay over $3.50/lb, but if you want it to be the absolute best, meat quality is very important and natural grass fed is the best. 
• Oak/apple pellets are what I use

For the seasoning

• 1/2 Cup paprika
• 1/4 Cup black pepper
• 1/4 Cup kosher salt
• 1/4 Cup raw sugar
• 3 tbsp garlic powder
• 2 tbsp Chili powder
• 1 tbsp onion powder
• 1 tbsp dry mustard
• 1 tbsp celery salt
• 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

For the Spray

• 1 cup apple cider vinegar
• 1/2 cup beer (I use fosters or tecate)
• 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 
• 1 tbsp olive oil

For the Boiling pan

• 24oz beer
• orange
• lemon
• pan from dollar tree

Let's rub it in...

So step one, open up your meat, clean it off and pat it down. Then it's time for the rub. Mix all the seasonings together (I forgot to get a photo of what they look like), then thickly coat the meat, leaving the fat side up. Use your hands to rub it into the meat. 

Let's chill

Now you cover it in foil, throw it in the fridge and let it sit overnight (or at least 8 hours, depending when you wanna start it)

Let's make an atmosphere

So the reason for the dollar tree pan, lemon, and orange is because we actually boil beer, lemon, and orange under the brisket while it cooks. This creates a flavor enhancing atmosphere for the brisket to cook in. 

So, slice the orange and lemon up and put them in the pan, then pour the beer over them to fill it. 

ingredients

What it looks like

Under the grates

Next step... the spray

The spray is very important. It helps give the meat phenomenal flavor while keeping it very moist. It will still develop bark, don't worry, it just helps with it not drying out... not that it's likely it would anyways. DO NOT SHAKE IT TO MIX. I say this because beer is carbonated. You will have spray shooting everywhere... whether or not you're squeezing the handle. Just lightly sway the bottle around and it will mix fine. 

I bought my sprayer at winco, get whatever works for you.

Time to get the party started

Okay, now we turn the grill up to 225° put the meat on, fat side up, spray it all over, and let it go... for about 12 hours, or until it's 197-200° internal temp. Depending on weather this can take longer or less, but you should be cooking it at least 12 hours. Every 45 minutes or so, open it up and spray it with the spray. Here's a progression from a few hours in to completion. It shrinks A LOT.

Last step.

Spray it again once it's off the grill, heavily, on all sides. Then cover with foil and let rest 10 minutes. 

After that, slide and serve, you can make burnt ends out of the flat if you want, I'll have another guide for that another time. 

This stuff is heaven. I'm getting hungry writing this blog... good thing I have some pork burnt ends on right now. Enjoy. Make your friends think you're some genius pitmaster, let me know how it turns out for you.

#HardWoodsOnly

Ribs Ribs Ribs!

Exodus 12:9a "Do not eat the meat raw or boiled in water, but roast it over a fire..."

Well, there you have it, even God says you shouldn't boil your ribs. If you do, you're probably maybe facing eternal judgement, but don't sweat it, this recipe will show you the right way to make ribs that fall apart and taste like they came straight from heaven's kitchen... or grill.

I need to give a precursor, this is an abridged form of the Last Meal Ribs from amazingribs.com I've found their rib recipe to be the best and this site is just a compilation of recipes I find worthy of my stamp of excellence, I don't claim responsibility for birthing this recipe.

What you're gonna need

• Ribs, either baby back or St. Louis are preferred, but you can use spare ribs if necessary
• 3/4 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup paprika
• 1/4 cup garlic powder
• 2 tablespoon black pepper
• 2 tablespoon ground ginger powder
• 2 tablespoon onion powder
• 2 teaspoons rosemary powder
• salt
• apple pellets

Step One: Preparing the Meat

So this is a part a lot of people don't understand. Most figure, "I just gotta buy the meat and throw it on the grill. It'll taste great." While they may be edible if you do that, your experience eating the ribs won't be nearly as good as that slab of meat and bones deserves. 

First stage of the meat prep is rinsing it off with water and then quickly padding it dry with a paper towel. 

After you've done that, you're gonna need to remove the membrane from the back of the ribs. The reason for this is that it becomes hard and leathery while cooking, making eating the ribs a less tasty, and much more challenging experience than it needs to be. 

To remove the membrane, just slide a butter knife under it, then grab it and pull. Depending on the ribs, it will all come off in one piece. I find spare ribs are much much harder to work with as far as removing the membrane goes, but it's necessary to allow the meat to cook correctly and to keep it edible with nothing more than fingers. 

Membrane is mostly removed here

Step Two: Seasoning

I unfortunately forgot to take a picture of this stage, so I'll put one up of the meat on the grill. 

So for the seasoning, you're gonna use kosher salt or a salt grinder over both sides of the ribs, you don't need to put a whole lot on, just what you would normally do if you were seasoning meat you were about to eat. 

Now let this sit for an hour or so in the fridge, the salt helps to tenderize the meat and bring out flavor. While that's sitting, mix all the other seasonings together. It will be more than you need for just a couple racks. After the hour is up, pull the ribs out of the fridge and cover them in the mix. It doesn't need to be an overly thick coating and the ribs should show through. 

Step Three: Smoke

Turn your grill on to smoke, and leave them be for an hour. 

Step Four: Turn Up The Heat

Now it's time to actually cook your ribs, turn it up to 225° and let them cook for about 5 or 6 hours, 4 if they're baby back. Once that time is up, baste them in your favorite BBQ Sauce. As always, I exclusively recommend OMG BBQ.

Now turn it up to 450 and let it cook the sauce on the ribs. It will take a few minutes, don't let the sauce burn. 

Step Five: Remove The Masterpiece From The Grill

Step Six: Eat

These ribs will pretty much fall apart, and they are probably the best ribs you've ever eaten. So Enjoy, brag, and make about twice as much as you think you'll need because there won't be leftovers no matter how much you make. 

The pink is called a smoke ring, and it's why they taste so damn good.

Notes and Afterthoughts

Many people, especially those in competition circuits do something called a "Texas Crutch." It's basically wrapping them in foil with a little bit of water to make them more tender. I intentionally don't do this for two reasons. One; I'm lazy and don't want the extra step. Two; this is the real reason. When you do the Texas Crutch, it softens the bark on the meat, which I think is actually a negative as that adds a lot of flavor and a great texture. 

#HardwoodsOnly

Smoked, Peppered Salmon: Fish To Fight Over (Monk Original Recipe)

After searching for a good smoked salmon recipe, I finally gave up and made my own. 

So I love salmon. Especially the smoked variety. I've tried a lot of amazing smoked fish in my life, but I was always looking for a combination of flavors that never really seemed to do it for me. Finally, after getting bored of trying other's recipes I decided to just make my own recipe with my favorite simple brine. So let's dive in and make some fish

What you're gonna need

• Salmon fillets 2-5lbs
• a big bowl of water
• 2 1/2 cups kosher salt
• 1 1/2 cups brown sugar
• Apple Pellets

For the seasoning

Note: this will be relatively spicy depending on your tolerance, also it will need to be doubled or tripled if you're making a lot like I do in the tutorial. For this I tripled it and made 2 whole wild caught Coho Salmon which I filleted myself (which is why they're ugly, I've got no clue what I'm doing when it comes to cutting up fish)

• 2tbsp black pepper
• 1tsp brown sugar
• 1tbsp crushed red pepper
• 1 tsp garlic powder

Step One: The Brine

Mix the water, 2 1/2 cups kosher salt, 1 1/2 cups brown sugar in a bowl. Mix it until all the sugar and salt dissolve. This will only take a couple minutes of stirring. Doesn't need to be perfect. Then cut the salmon into 3 inch strips, add it to the bowl, and refrigerate for 3-4 hours.

Step Two: Mix The Seasoning In A Ziplock Bag

Step Three: Smoking The Flavor In

For this, we use Apple pellets. Turn the grill to smoke, put the fish on it, skin down, and generously coat the top of the fish with the seasoning. Then close the lid and let her smoke for an hour

Step Four: Turn It Up And Take It Off

This step isn't exactly challenging... turn it up to 180° and let it go another hour then take it off

Step Five: Refrigerate... Or Throw Self Control Out The Window And Eat It Hot

Personally, I prefer it cold. However, it does taste excellent hot. I could eat this stuff all day. It's like candy. I advise letting it cool to reduce the condensation produces then stick it into a gallon sized ziplock bag or some air tight Tupperware. 

Final Thoughts:

I've had a few people tell me this recipe has too much pepper, and others tell me it's the best smoked salmon they've had in their life. It really depends on personal preference. I was shooting for a very specific taste when I created this and I think that I hit it right on the head. If you prefer a less peppery/spicy recipe, I would advise dropping the pepper to half and maintaining the same quantities for the other ingredients. 

Something else; you may read this and say "Hey, he's cooking it at 180°... that isn't smoking. When you smoke something, you don't cook it." Well that would be correct and incorrect. There's two types of smoking, cold and hot. Cold smoking is what you do for things like beef jerky. I will never advise anyone try this with fish at home. There are commercial facilities designed for it with very stringent codes that they need to adhere to. You have very high risk of food poisoning if you try cold smoking fish at home. That's why we do it at 180°. It's fully cooked, but it's also smoked... and trust me, it's absolutely delicious. 

#HardwoodsOnly